I left Asheville last Wednesday to attend the Mindful Leader Summit in DC. I knew the storm was forecasted but I didn't think it was going to be more than a windy and rainy couple of days. That's what hurricanes typically feel like when they get to us because we're inland and in the mountains.
Friday morning, I got a message from my husband reporting some trees were down, the house was fine, but the power was out so I should call the landline. Pretty typical.
So I call the landline. And it just rings.
A few hours later, I try again. Nothing.
Friday afternoon, I try again. The line is dead. It's not even ringing.
And this is when I start getting super anxious and worrying about the worst case scenarios.
For 24 hours, I'm worrying internally while trying to act normal at my conference. There's still no way to get in touch with my family.
It's so ironic that I'm at a mindfulness conference too! There is yoga and meditation in the morning. We have movement breaks between sessions. We start sessions with moments of silence.
But these "good-for-you" mindfulness exercises were actually heightening my anxiety.
Saturday afternoon, I finally get in touch with my husband. Our family is safe. We have a generator. We have water. Still no power, no phone, no cell service... and no clue when it will restored. Our community looks like a war zone.
I'm sharing this with you because I was reminded that mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and all these tools don't magically take away our anxiety, grief, and discomfort. Sometimes, they actually heighten our emotions.
What I am grateful for is that my mindfulness tools gave me a choice. A choice to feel in control vs. freaking out.
During the 24 hours where I couldn't get in touch with anyone, I desperately scrolled social media searching for news and pictures of my community. But I chose to turn it off when I realized scrolling wasn't going to give me the answers I was seeking. Instead, I chose to do breathing exercises so that I could fall asleep.
I still felt uncomfortable, but the discomfort wasn't controlling me. I felt in control of my well-being even though I was worrying about my family and friends.
To be honest, I'm processing what I'll be coming home to and I'm worried. And that's normal and okay to feel so I'm not trying to "fix" anything. I just give myself permission to feel it.
Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, messaged to check in and make sure we're okay. It's meant a lot to see and feel your love.
In deep gratitude,
Ming-Wai
The center of our little town is flooded and washed out.
This is the bottom of our road. The river of water you see is usually a creek.
What strikes me about this photo is that it's so beautiful. So much damage and destruction... but when the sun comes out, there is hope and inspiration.
