A few weeks ago, I was gearing up for a wonderful trip to London and Paris with my family. I had been looking forward to it because London is my happy place and it had been over a decade since my husband and I had visited on our honeymoon.

In the middle of wrapping up projects at work, packing up, and getting a last minute haircut, I started feeling guilty and questioning if it was a mistake to spend all this money on a trip. I felt worried that the kids wouldn’t feel like walking all day or trying new food and it would be a waste of time and money. I was scared that I would forget something important. I was starting to spiral with anxiety and worried I was making the “wrong” decision.

And this is where my ming+ming foundational steps came in handy.

Step 1 - Negative Reel. To be honest, I don’t always notice my negative self-talk. What I do notice is how I FEEL. So when I noticed I was feeling guilty and questioning my decisions, it led me to recognize how I was talking to myself - with judgment, with hypothetical scenarios, with fear.

Step 2 - Ego vs. Identity. Fortunately, I used our go-to tool of value-based decision making (VDBM) before I bought my tickets to Europe. So I went back to my list of values to reassure myself that I made this INVESTMENT in alignment with my identity. My values are FAMILY, which includes traveling with them; FREEDOM to see and experience the world and different cultures; and CONNECTION with people and places.

Step 3: Your Why. My why is to bring more compassion and empathy into the world. You may be wondering how taking a European vacation supports that. Well, I believe that empathy and compassion for others starts with connection so it helps to expose ourselves to different people, different cultures, and to feel small in this beautiful world. It’s humbling and empowering at the same time and that helps me live my why.

Having my ming+ming steps helped me to feel back in control. I could focus on what I had to get done instead of wasting my time worrying about if I had made the right decision or what others were going to think about it.

This in turn allowed me to sleep better so I didn’t get sick before my trip and to be more efficient in getting all the last minute things done before we left for the airport.

With love,
Ming-Wai