Tools make life easier - we all know that. But when we have so many tools to choose from, it can be confusing and overwhelming to know which is the best tool for you!
We all have limited time, money and energy, so it can be the fear of choosing the wrong tool and wasting our time and money that keeps us stuck! We know because we’ve been there.
That’s why we want to make it easier on you! We try the tools and then suggest to you which tools have helped us (and continue to help) so you don’t have to waste your precious time, money and energy.
Our tools page isn’t a cheat sheet for a quick fix. No, our suggestions and our tools page makes it easier for you to create your own pathway towards self discovery. Because you’re no fool!
Here’s a few tools we love and suggest as a great place to get started!
Netflix: Stutz - this documentary redefined therapy for me
Podcast: The Mel Robbins Podcast–6 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Power and How to Get it Back: Life Changing Advice From the Remarkable Dr. Thema Bryant
Crystals: The Crystal Code and the Healing Sanctuary
Be sure to leave a comment after you use the tools so we can help others choose the tool that works best for them!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
CONFESSION: My pre-trip freak out 😵💫
A few weeks ago, I was gearing up for a wonderful trip to London and Paris with my family. I had been looking forward to it because London is my happy place and it had been over a decade since my husband and I had visited on our honeymoon.
In the middle of wrapping up projects at work, packing up, and getting a last minute haircut, I started feeling guilty and questioning if it was a mistake to spend all this money on a trip. I felt worried that the kids wouldn’t feel like walking all day or trying new food and it would be a waste of time and money. I was scared that I would forget something important. I was starting to spiral with anxiety and worried I was making the “wrong” decision.
And this is where my ming+ming foundational steps came in handy.
Step 1 - Negative Reel. To be honest, I don’t always notice my negative self-talk. What I do notice is how I FEEL. So when I noticed I was feeling guilty and questioning my decisions, it led me to recognize how I was talking to myself - with judgment, with hypothetical scenarios, with fear.
Step 2 - Ego vs. Identity. Fortunately, I used our go-to tool of value-based decision making (VDBM) before I bought my tickets to Europe. So I went back to my list of values to reassure myself that I made this INVESTMENT in alignment with my identity. My values are FAMILY, which includes traveling with them; FREEDOM to see and experience the world and different cultures; and CONNECTION with people and places.
Step 3: Your Why. My why is to bring more compassion and empathy into the world. You may be wondering how taking a European vacation supports that. Well, I believe that empathy and compassion for others starts with connection so it helps to expose ourselves to different people, different cultures, and to feel small in this beautiful world. It’s humbling and empowering at the same time and that helps me live my why.
Having my ming+ming steps helped me to feel back in control. I could focus on what I had to get done instead of wasting my time worrying about if I had made the right decision or what others were going to think about it.
This in turn allowed me to sleep better so I didn’t get sick before my trip and to be more efficient in getting all the last minute things done before we left for the airport.
With love,
Ming-Wai
Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.
tools for maintain + preserve
We are quick to bend backwards for others.
We over-commit as a way to prove our loyalty.
We push through long hours and ignore signals from our bodies to sustain our status.
However, if you’ve been following along with us, you know by now it’s not without a cost.
When we prioritize others' needs at the expense of our own, we lose touch with ourselves. And if this becomes a habit, then we lose our ability to know how to support our needs. We know,because we’ve been there.
Healing is the art of taking care of ourselves. Discovering the tools that work for our unique situations and using them in a way to create consistency is an artform. What to use and how to use it is really personal since we are the only ones who truly know what we need.
And when we put the energy, time and money into supporting our needs, we give ourselves the loving message that we are worth it. It’s in the process, the struggle and the perseverance, of discovering how to take care of ourselves that allows us to reconnect with who we are and to redefine our own value.
Below are some tools we’ve discovered that have helped us maintain + preserve our health so we can enjoy the life we work so hard to create.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
this podcast redefined addiction for me
I'll be honest - I had never heard of Whitney Cummings before my husband forwarded me this podcast but I'm sure I'll see her everywhere now (isn't it weird how that happens?). So no matter if you like her work or not, this is worth a listen.
Almost two years ago, I wrote a blog explaining how my problems aren't "real" problems. It started like this:
“Sometimes I feel like an addict but instead of alcohol or substances, I’m addicted to exceeding expectations and external validation. However, there’s no 12-step program to take your life from people-pleasing super productive to true-self pleasing f*ck what everyone thinks. And that’s where the problem lies because for years I’ve been thinking my problems aren’t real problems.”
But from this podcast, I discovered that there IS a 12-step program for people-pleasers! It's a support group for codependence that she's involved with. Who knew?
I need to warn you that this is a long podcast - it took me several days to finish it - but they cover a lot and really shifted my perspective on the definition of addiction and how it's not necessarily bad and how it could really be our super power. Another revelation was that you can be confident but have low self-esteem (and how confusing that is). And another great take-away for me was the reminder of the power of forgiveness.
This was a great reminder that we're always working on ourselves and moving forward in our own way, with our own tools, and with a bit of humor.
With love,
Ming-Wai
my mini-meditation habit
I have to be honest - I'm terrible at making time to meditate. I tried to set a reminder on my phone or put it on my calendar, but those tricks were short-lived. What works for me is mini-meditations that I couple with things that I have to do anyway.
For instance, doing deep breaths and letting my mind wander while taking my evening shower. I've also stopped listening to the radio in the car on my commute into work. Or when I walk the dogs, I leave my phone and earbuds at home so I'm more present in the moment. I count these as my mini-meditations and they are now a habit I don't want to break.
I used to be a chronic multi-tasker with everything I did, like folding laundry and watching TV, going on a walk at lunch while catching up on my podcasts, or reading a paper for work while on the treadmill. I felt so productive! What I didn't realize at the time was that all this "productivity" was like running on a hamster wheel. I was putting all this energy into getting stuff done but then never feeling like I was going anywhere, which eventually lead me to burnout.
Don't get me wrong, I do still multi-task but now I intentionally find a little time in my day to put my productivity on pause. And it is in these quiet moments when I am most present with my body and my mind that I get beautiful realizations and creative ideas.
With love,
Ming-Wai
I've been practicing yoga since I was a teenager - mostly at the gym off-and-on for many years - and I was just doing it for exercise, stretching, and a little meditation. I didn't know why it made my body feel good (and I didn't really care, to be honest) but I kept coming back to yoga because it was like pushing a reset button on life and I always felt better afterwards.
About five years ago, I started going regularly to a yoga studio in my town and the practice of showing up every week was the beginning of a healthy shift in my life. What I eventually learned while doing my yoga teacher training is that yoga is more than stretching, breathing, and trying to do a handstand. The principles of yoga can be applied to so many aspects of my life.
The book Living Your Yoga by Judith Lasater is a quick and easy read and showed me that I didn't have to go to a yoga retreat in order to deepen my relationship with my true self. When I am struggling to show up to my mat in order to maintain + preserve the benefits of my practice, this book gives me simple suggestions on and off the mat to bring me back to a mindset of balance. It touches on topics like faith, control, fear, and greed that makes me more conscious of how I'm reacting to my surroundings. And it reminds me that even when things are going well and I don't feel like I "need" to do my yoga practice, there is still a benefit to showing up for myself on and off the mat.
With love,
Ming-Wai
how I learned to love orthotics
Ever since I can remember, our physical therapist mother has put emphasis on taking care of our feet. Our feet are what supports the rest of our bodies day in and day out. Neck pain, back pain, headaches and other aches can all stem from not giving our feet the support they need.
Though it took persistent nagging from our mother, I now see the immense benefits of taking care of how my body feels when I’m on my feet. From the ego hit I took when deciding I couldn’t wear high heels anymore to the cost and annoyance of purchasing orthotics for every shoe I own, this part of my journey has been a real struggle (and sometimes continues to be).
The best quality orthotic I’ve invested into is Foot Karma. The orthotics have been designed and created by Pediatrist Eric Hubbard and his wife Millie Hubbard, RN, BSN and Public Health Nurse. These orthotics were created out of necessity, to provide their patients an orthotic that was comfortable and one they would actually wear. They even have orthotics that will fit into high heels for those of you who are not willing to give up those long legs quite yet. I appreciate that “Take care of your feet now so they can take care of you later” is written front and center on their packaging. Check them out: https://footkarma.com/
If you are looking for less expensive options you can try Dr. Scholl’s custom fit orthotics. There are kiosks that will determine which Dr. Scholl’s orthotics will best support your needs. Find a kiosk here.
And when in doubt, listen to your body. Going to see a Podiatrist for additional information and support what’s best for you.
With love, Ming-Cee
retraining my body with Rosen
My first in-person Rosen class was at the Napa Senior Center February 2020. Shortly after, the world shut down due to the pandemic. Classes transitioned online and that’s where I’ve been taking my Rosen class ever since.
I’ve lived most of my life pushing through my discomforts (read about it on my blog here). I’ve been forcing my body to perform and creating a lot of tension. But a lifetime of harsh demands finally caught up to me, leaving me exhausted with a chronically aching body. Rosen movement helps me to stop reinforcing old habits of misusing my body. Since I didn’t know any better, I needed to retrain myself from the foundation up. And even though my first class was held at the senior center, Rosen movement is for all ages.
Rosen Method Movement is a system of simple, gentle, range-of-motion movements that encourage students to move the way their bodies are designed. Rosen classes are also paired with music allowing the body to move with awareness to a certain rhythm. These classes are simple, practical and have given me hope for a more enjoyable future.
Along with Rosen Method Movement there is Rosen Method Bodywork. To discover more about Rosen Method check out the webpage at rosenmethod.com
And if you would like to join me via Zoom at 9:30am pacific on Mondays for Rosen Method Movement class, please reach out and I’ll send you information on how to sign up.
With love,
Ming-Cee
finding support with anti-fatigue mats
This tool is another recommendation from our physical therapist mother. She has been trying to shift our perspectives on giving our bodies the support they need now so we may experience longevity of the highest quality later. She has always said that we don’t have to wait for our bodies to scream at us in pain before we provide them with a tool to support our daily demands. It's finally sinking in, mom!
As a stay-at-home mom to young children and as someone who enjoys cooking as a way of showing her love, I’m in the kitchen a lot. From daily chores like doing the dishes to preparing weekly meals, I find myself standing on our hard tile floors often. And though I’ve used anti-fatigue mats before and know the benefits it provides my body, when I redid my kitchen I was stuck in a world of vanity over comfort. Luckily I found an anti-fatigue mat that supports my needs and looks great! The Standing Matt from House of Noa delivers the best of both worlds.
With love,
Ming-Cee
our tools for the negative reel
If you are having a hard time letting go of the limiting idea that there is something wrong with you or that you are broken and need fixing, then you are not alone.
Let us repeat this, you are not alone.
If you are reading this right now, know that there is a whole community here at ming+ming struggling, supporting each other, and trying new tools to help shift how we speak to ourselves from harsh judgment and disappointment to love and compassion.
When we discover and acknowledge our negative reel, it also comes with accepting our flaws and shortcomings. It’s in this first crucial step of recognizing our negative reel that we address what we say and how we talk to ourselves all the time. And it’s with this new understanding that we are able to find the tools we need to help ourselves improve, shift, and change.
“If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. If you argue for those limits, they’re yours.”
- Jim Kwik on the On Purpose podcast with Jay Shetty (Feb 3, 2020)
As with all our tools, this podcast helped us loosen our grip on our limiting beliefs and the facades we have built around them. It shifts our perspectives that have been taught to us, ingrained into us, and validated through decades of cultural “norms.”
The objective for sharing our tools is to give you an alternative to something you’ve only known. Our tools have given us the ability to shift our perspectives, give us the courage to try something new and provide us with hope that change is absolutely possible and within our control.
These are the tools that have helped us identify our negative reels and to start quieting them down. We would love to hear your feedback on these tools if you have tried them. Please share your stories in the comment section below.
Ming-Cee’s tools include:
podcasts and TED talks (Jim Kwik, Mel Robbins + Marisa Peer)
Ming-Wai's tools include:
Reprinted with permission by ming + ming
ming-wai's tool: reiki
Until 2018, reiki was not in my vocabulary. I had heard of energy healing and I had gotten benefit from acupuncture in the past, but it was nothing I was interested in doing or learning... until our au pair started getting our 4-year-old son to nap almost everyday by "doing reiki" on him. This was a child that refused to sleep as an infant and HATED to nap. It was a bona fide miracle. I had to learn what this was before our au pair's visa expired.
As I describe in this newsletter, my reiki attunement opened up something inside of me long suppressed but, more importantly, it taught me that I can heal myself and others by connecting from a place of love to the energy that surrounds us all. It also helped me push back on my negative reel by helping me love a part of me that I dismissed for decades.
I learned reiki from Marissa at my home yoga studio Nimaste Yoga in Kensington, MD, but I also received immense benefit and guidance from sessions with Devon Cajuste (via phone) and Pam at Atasia Spa (in person) in Berkeley Spring, WV.
Reiki is a difficult healing technique to define. If there are 100 reiki practitioners, you will experience 100 variations of reiki. The style and experience can vary widely. If you're interested in reiki as a healing modality, please reach out to me and I hope to guide you in the right direction.
ming-wai's tool: crystals
One of my first steps on my journey was recognizing and trusting in the sensations in my body and the "knowing" within myself. I always loved the look of crystals, but thought it was silly to feel them. That was my negative reel and I was embarrassed to pursue this interest for a long time. But once I accepted that this was a legitimate tool for me, it helped me trust my intuition, my decisions, and my unique way of processing the world. This was a crucial first step to starting to trust myself even when it didn't make sense to the people around me.
Fortunately, The Crystal Code by Tamara Driessen encouraged me to get to know my crystals and open to their energy. This was my first crystal book and it reads like a girlfriend giving advice on picking up a new hobby. It was exactly what I needed to trust that what I was connecting with and reminded me that connecting with Earth's energy is nothing new... it's our natural state of being.
If you're interested in adding some crystals into your collection, I recommend The Healing Sanctuary on Etsy. She infuses the crystals with reiki energy and I love they way they feel when I get them. No negative ju-ju here!
