how to heal yourself when sharing your life with others

• How do we prioritize taking care of ourselves when we live such busy lives? 

• How can we choose self care when so many others depend on us? 

• What should we do when we don’t have any more time, money, or energy left for ourselves?

These were the questions we asked ourselves not too long ago. It was never a good time to change our routine because we’re too busy and too many people depended on us.

In hindsight, these were excuses we had created before we even got started. We were afraid to start because we knew that changing would affect the ones around us. But what we didn’t realize was by not prioritizing our self care, we were already affecting the ones around us... and not in a positive way.

When we finally invested in ourselves, the quality of our relationships improved in ways we couldn't have imagined.  Stronger boundaries created stronger connections with the ones we loved most.  

All month, we will be discussing what it’s like to go on a healing journey while you share your life with others. Below we share the tools we’ve used (and continue to use) to help us grow the relationships that are the most important to us, including our own.

How to start with yourself: Therapy

It was ingrained in me from a young age that going to therapy was a sign of weakness. That sharing your vulnerabilities only opens you up to be taken advantage of and placed at the mercy of someone else’s harsh judgment. But I was told wrong. Keep reading...

Why therapy helps: Stutz A Film by Jonas Hill

This documentary was incredible for me in many ways. I think it's a beautiful representation, on multiple levels, of what it’s like to be on a healing journey. It’s complicated, it’s multifaceted, and we are ALL just trying to figure it out (even the therapist who created the tools).
Keep reading...

Therapist who inspires us: Kaitlin Soule

Follow her on Instagram @kaitlin.soule

https://www.wellnotesforher.com/

You cannot make others change: Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast: 3 Things You Need to Accept About Other People
Listen here...

If you are struggling with your marriage: Michelle Purta

Follow her on Instagram @michellepurtacoaching

https://www.michellepurta.com/

If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship: Dr. Ramini

Podcast OnPurpose with Jay Shetty:

The 3 SIGNS You’re dealing with a Narcissist + How to Set Boundaries
Listen here...

If you’re a mom and struggling to find yourself after kids: Momma has goals

Follow on Instagramt: @mommahasgoals

https://mommahasgoals.com/

If you are struggling to communicate with your kids: Dr. Becky

Follow her on Instagram: @drbeckyatgoodinside

https://www.goodinside.com/

If your kids are struggling with mental health: Ken Burns documentary - Hiding in Plain Sight
Streaming on PBS and Amazon

If you suffer from chronic low energy: Spoon Theory
Since we didn’t make this shit up, a lot of the tools we're sharing with you come from recommendations from our ming+ming community. Thanks Erin for sharing!

What is Spoon Theory? Washington Post article

Feeling overwhelmed and looking for your work-life balance?

A lot of us are looking to find that sweet spot in life, where we've found the balance between our work lives and our home lives. But how do we know when we've gotten there? Is it a feeling? Is it happiness? Maybe a sense of ease?

Many of us have a hard time defining exactly what we're searching for when it comes to the perfect work-life balance. Generally, it’s a feeling that something's off and we know we can't continue on the same path for much longer.

The definition for work-life balance is personal and it can be affected by multiple factors like personalities, responsibilities, timing, and situation. That's why it's important to know which step you're on when discovering your unique work-life balance.

With our 11 step process to transform your life, you'll find a deeper understanding of your stuckness and how it keeps you from getting what you want. You will then discover how to create your own path towards the work-life balance that makes the most sense for you.

If you're sick of...

• feeling torn or guilty about how you spend your time between work and your personal life

• thinking you're not doing enough compared to others 

• feeling overwhelmed, or constantly on the edge of burnout, and feeling like you don’t have much to show for it

• constantly believing that you’re not good enough

…then you need these steps!

If you would like more guidance on how to apply our 11 steps to discovering your work-life balance, join us for our FREE live q+a session on February 21st at 8pm ET | 5pm PT.  During this time, Ming-Wai and Ming-Cee will walk you through understanding how to apply the 11 steps to your own life.

All you have to do is sign up and show up for yourself. We got you. You got you. See you there!

PS: if you missed our monthly lifestyle newsletter with easy tools on how to discover your work-life balance, check it out here.

How to Discover Your Work-Life Balance

Welcome to the monthly ming+ming lifestyle newsletter! Each month, we'll be covering topics we’ve struggled with along our personal growth journeys and how we’ve been able to find deeper understanding of our challenges, shift our perspectives, and the tools and tips that help us along the way. We’ll share ways to surround yourself with inspiration as you continue doing the hard work, how to grow your self love, and how to be creative with your solutions so it fits your personal lifestyle.

At ming+ming, we want to change the tone of healing. We want others to know that though the journey is incredibly tough, it’s completely achievable. It might not always look pretty getting there, but the transformation is always worth it. We’ll break down the growing pains that accompany you along the way and we’ll guide you step by step on how to discover your own solutions. Because we believe that everyone deserves to enjoy the life they work so hard to create.

This month's topic:
How to Discover Your Work-Life Balance.

Discovering your work life balance has everything to do with you.  

• What’s your definition of work life balance? 

• Do you believe it exists?  If not, why?  If so, why?  

• How do you get there? 

• What’s keeping you stuck?

If we don’t know what we want, then we won’t know which direction we should step in. When we talk about a growth journey, this is what we are referring to.  Just to get us pointed in a certain direction takes time, money, and energy. However, these are critical steps where we set the foundation for our future success.

Find out what step you're on by taking our 5-minute quiz.

Focus on the work-life balance aspect of your life when answering the questions. Then use the tools below to take the next step in your personal growth journey.

Let's Get Started

One last thing.

Our wonderful Yoga for Inner Core teacher Justyna shared her inspiration for class this month from this article from Ekhart Yoga: Less stress – moving beyond work life balance.

With our weekly newsletters, we'll help you navigate your healing journey so it’s less confusing, less overwhelming, and more accessible. 

Hi, I’m Ming-Cee and I workout at the senior center

“...and a mug for tea,” the description read. It randomly caught my attention as I was looking up activities for my kids in our city’s Parks & Recreation catalog.

I read the class description outloud to my husband and he looked at me with concern. I knew he’d been watching me morph into a dull and frail version of myself. I told him that I thought it was a sign and enrolled myself for “Exploring the Deep Spine, Moving from Your Core.”

I was in the very early stages of my healing journey. I knew I couldn’t stay in bed for the majority of my day anymore. I needed to get moving and out of the house. I was stuck in the mindset that spending money on myself was a scarce privilege so the class description and the price point was too perfect to ignore.

To be honest, I thought it was going to be a slow moving barre class, one that would focus on my core muscles. I really didn’t expect the class to be any different than any other I’d taken at a community center… not even when I pulled into the parking lot of the Senior Center.

When I walked in and others began to gather, I was approached by a woman who smiled with her entire body and immediately made me feel warm. She introduces herself as the instructor, then proceeds to say “you might have noticed that you’re significantly younger than the others.”

It was hard not to notice.

She asked about myself and told me a bit about the class I was about to take. She then says “you are exactly where you are supposed to be and I am so happy you are here.”

Tears immediately began to well up in my eyes. Because when you're lost and scared, those are the best words you could hear from someone else. It turns out I would cry 3 more times by the end and I knew I had found my people.

Never had I been with a group of individuals who knew what it felt like to live in chronic pain, tired and worn down. I felt seen and understood immediately. It was quite the contrast from always pretending to look like a healthy 37 year old. I found a spark of hope when a woman, a full generation ahead of me, declared “I wish I had found this class when I was your age.” I could see the honesty in her eyes, and perhaps, even a bit of jealousy. It gave me the first positive shift in my mindset.

I CAN help myself and it WON’T be all for nothing. I accepted that I’d have to sacrifice to go down the long and demanding road up ahead, but I decided to give myself this gift. It was a gift to invest one hour a week with my people. And I had never thought about it that way before, until now.

At that time, I was constantly overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness. Always throwing energy towards damage control and never for preservation. I had no energy left to take care of myself. I spent my money to maintain my image instead of maintaining my health. And that’s how I found myself working out at the senior center at age 37.

This wonderful class is called Rosen. Rosen movement breaks down how to use our bodies correctly. Our demanding world doesn't allow us to slow down enough to realize we don’t always need to be pushing. From standing up straight to running a marathon, our bodies can perform without brash demands. We just need to be aware of our bodies, how they naturally work, and to be kind enough to give them what they need.

Though initially working out with retirees was a swift kick to the ego, it only took a few vulnerable words, some warm touches and empathetic eyes to not care how it looked anymore. I was where I needed to be, at the appropriate level – it was the right next step for me.

My newfound community may have weathered hands and worn souls, but they remind me that today’s investments will be worth more to me as the years go by. And though our current personal growth journey may seem uncomfortable, daunting and overwhelming, investing in our health now allows us to preserve the quality of years we have left.

“In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

–Abraham Lincoln

With love,

Ming-Cee