put in the time or keep doing the crime

What do I want to change in my life?

This may be a simple question for some, but generally it’s very difficult to answer. We believe that most of us are terrified of change since deep down we know how difficult it is to get there. So instead, we just keep talking about how we wish things were different.

Talking about what we want to change is the easy part. But in order for real change to happen, we need to ask ourselves a much harder follow-up question:

Am I ready to put in the effort to make this change a reality?

This is where it gets uncomfortable - and understandably so! We must get to a point where the discomfort of change is worth more than suffering the status quo.
And that looks different for everyone depending on where we want to make that next change. What may seem like an easy decision in one aspect of our lives, could seem nearly impossible in another. Some may be willing to wake up early for a 5am workout, but may not be willing to give up their 5pm cocktails.

So taking the time to really unpack and discover what needs to change in our life is the only way to take the first steps towards healing our discomfort, pain and suffering.

And if you discover that you are not ready for change, then we suggest you don’t! If you're not willing to put in the time, then we suggest you continue doing the crime.

The female author George Eliot (it’s a pen name!) writes "It's never too late to be who you were meant to be." It’s okay if you’re not ready because that's part of the complexity of the healing journey. Give yourself grace to find the right time for you.

Generally, it’s the fear of the unknown that keeps us frozen. We won’t be able to move forward until we recognize and address that fear. Until then, we will be stuck in a cycle where our actions will be short-lived or half-assed without real dedication and lacking grit.

So when you are ready to put in the time, we are here to help you…

For most of us, our first step is just figuring out how to pause long enough and quiet things down to ask ourselves: “am I really ready to change?” If so, how do I get there? And If not, what is it that is keeping me stuck?

At ming+ming we offer that pause. We provide a quiet and supportive space to ask the hard questions and to answer them honestly. You can come to us and join our group classes or we can come to you for 1-on-1 coaching sessions. We are here to support you when you’re ready to invest in yourself so you can start enjoying this life you work so hard to create.

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really…

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really... get busy living or get busy dying."

- Andy Dufresne (played by Tim Robbins) in The Shawshank Redemption

As living creatures, we are all works in progress because that is our human design, like on a Darwin kind of level.  Meaning we’re all faced with the evolutionary tale of adapt or die.  Thankfully, so far, our species has opted for survival. 

When we say that the healing journey is a lifelong journey (not an accomplishment to be checked off or a singular milestone to be celebrated), we acknowledge that some will be discouraged from even starting. But what we want to present is a shift in perspective: from a never ending daunting haul to the privilege of choice. This is only granted to those who are 1) alive and 2) willing to do hard things because deep down, they know they deserve it.

The reason this is a long-term commitment is because we believe the path toward self healing and growth is all about self discovery.  And since we’ve chosen to evolve and adapt instead of going extinct, change is the survival strategy. Therefore, there will always be more to discover about ourselves.

So, if you are one to correlate the need for change with being flawed, then you will stay imprisoned and stuck in your own life. However, if you are able to shift your mindset and see change as the human progression of evolution, then we are here to help set you free.  Because even if you accept constant change as a fact of life, it doesn’t make it any easier.  That’s where ming+ming comes in.

With clear-cut steps that build off one another, curated classes to strength the skills you’ll need to face difficult challenges and persevere, surrounding yourself with a community of individuals committed to the same growth, AND access to reliable tool recommendations based on your unique needs, you will be able to manage these changes with more ease, confidence and enjoyment!

So take it from Andy Dufresne: “Get busy living or get busy dying.” We've chosen living and we think you should too.

With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

ming+ming CHANGE steps

ming+ming CHANGE steps:
7. effort + goals
8. reflection
9. your story + our community

When we finally get to the place where we know we need change, we don’t like to wait for it and we want it to happen now. We’ve been conditioned to expect instant gratification but this only sets us up for disappointment when change doesn’t come soon enough. 

And because we have been through our own personal growth journeys, we understand that change only occurs when the discomfort becomes bad enough that change is our only option left. And when things are that uncomfortable, we want change to happen immediately.

But if you’ve been following along, you know by now that real, sustainable change only occurs after we have put in the work to understand why we want to change, and what we want to change into. When deeper meaning supports our desire to change, then the slow progression, the upkeep, and the continual investment shifts from “having to” to “wanting to.”

And that is the secret to making this journey less uncomfortable, less overwhelming, and increases the longevity of our success.

The ming+ming CHANGE steps are the steps that will allow you to face the challenges that come with doing things differently for the first time.

These steps remind you of your new found perspective and helps you start rewriting what was once your limiting beliefs.

These steps give you the opportunity to see where else you have been holding yourself back. 

It’s in these steps that you fully realize the power you hold within to heal, grow and create a life you truly enjoy.

It is in these CHANGE steps that you will experience the results of showing up for yourself consistently.  It’s where you begin to experience the benefits to all the hard work you’ve put in so far.  It is here that you will realize what you once thought impossible for yourself was only a lack of understanding of what was holding you back. You will discover what you are truly capable of and the value that you alone bring to this world.

As you continue to experience these new shifts (big and small) and the more time you have to reflect on how far you have come, you begin to embrace a whole new meaning to life. What you once thought you “had to do” will transition into what you “want to do” and that will allow you to make the real, sustainable changes to start enjoying the life you work so hard to create.

With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

 our tool for the CHANGE steps are the ming+ming 11 steps.

Let us explain…

When we first admitted to ourselves that we were not enjoying the lives we’d been working so hard to create, we felt guilty, ashamed and confused as to why.

As we’ve started our own healing journeys, we now realize that we’ve unknowingly created habits that have disconnected ourselves from who we are and our needs.

From a young age, we developed people-pleasing skills to keep the peace.  

We were conditioned to prioritize how others viewed us before we had a chance to check in with ourselves.  

We were told in subtle, yet consistent ways that we weren’t good enough and we had to keep performing to prove our worth.  

We took on roles and identities that made us look great on the outside, but empty and discontent on the inside.

We finally realized the root cause of our unhappiness was because we didn't really know ourselves so we couldn’t fulfill our own needs.

We knew real, sustainable change had to start with ourselves, but where and how?  We had spent our entire lives training to do everything “right,” so how could we be so lost?

The ming+ming 11 steps came to us organically as we turned our attention inside and began to peel away our facade so we could understand our emotions. Learning to respond to them instead of just reacting to them. 

It’s through the 11 steps that we learned that NOTHING was wrong with us, we had just found our work.  We were discovering the work it takes to heal, discover ourselves, and to live authentically.

The 11 steps allows us to find the deeper understanding of where we are on our journeys, and to stay focused on what small changes will give us the biggest impact and the most relief from our struggles. 

It allows us to change at our own pace in our own way. 

It keeps the noise of comparison down.  

The ming+ming 11 steps teaches us HOW to change and we know they work because we use them over and over again. Real, sustainable, lasting change is a process, not a destination.

sign up for ming+ming classes

Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.

FACE: Foundation, Action, Change, Engage

What step are you on?
Find out with Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
Live Q+A: May 16th 8pm ET | 5pm PT
sign up now

There’s a few things you should know about ming+ming…

Our goal is to change the tone of healing because we believe that “there is nothing wrong with you, [you’ve just] discovered your work.” –Rabbi Mordecai Finnley

The work you’ve discovered will lead you through an uncomfortable, complex, and difficult journey inward. And though you may be well aware of the journey you must take, feeling overwhelmed, confused, and the fear of the unknown is what keeps you stuck. These emotional states leave you stagnant – deeply wanting change in your life but lost on where to start.

We know exactly how that feels because we’ve been there too, and frankly, we’re still working through it. That’s why we’ve created steps to help us navigate this difficult journey. 

• These are the steps that help us find our footing when we’re spiraling out of control. 

• These are the steps we come back to when we inevitably fall off the wagon. 

• These are the steps that help us monitor our progress when things don't seem to be changing fast enough. 

• These are also the steps that keep us focused on our progress when the noise of comparison makes us feel unworthy or not good enough.

We’d like to introduce you to FACE: The steps you need to FACE your challenges.

Foundation: steps 1-4 
Action: steps 4-7
Change: steps 7-9
Engage: steps 9-11

How it works:

• These steps, and the tools associated with them, allow you to understand your personal struggles that keep you stuck and unmotivated.  

• This deeper understanding then gives you the ability to release any guilt or shame, forgive and move on.

• This shift opens up the opportunity for you to make different decisions – ones that are aligned with your values, instead of other people’s expectations.  

When you start making decisions based on your values, it connects you deeper to who you are and it helps eliminate the second guessing or the many hours of “should-ofs and could-ofs” eventually giving you back more time, energy, and even money to continue moving forward on your personal growth journey.

As one of our ming+ming members described it: 

“The steps teach you how to hear yourself again, and the tools allow you to trust what you hear”
–N. Wolcott

If you are interested in learning more about these steps and how they can be applied to your unique and personal struggles, then join us, May 16, 2023 at 8PM ET/ 5PM PT to connect with us LIVE. This FREE q+a session will allow you to talk to us directly as we guide you through our steps and show you how to apply them to your life.  All you have to do is sign up and show up…it’s a great first step!

With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

What are the ming+ming 11 steps? Read more here

Have you done everything “right” but feel lost and confused because you don’t feel like you are enjoying your life?  Our steps can help! Read more here

Do you connect with this quote:
“There is nothing wrong with you. You discovered you work”
Listen to the full podcast here

Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.

6 things to know before quitting your 2023 resolution

We’ve compiled our top 6 tips to shift your mindset so you can make your 2023 resolution stick.

It’s the beginning of a new year and if you're like most of us, you’ve set intentions to live a healthier lifestyle by analyzing what you’d like to change in your life. Then, per usual, life gets in the way, old patterns persist, and we find reasons to quit before we’ve really even begun.

Like we said last week, our goal is to change the tone of healing so we thought we would share some tips to help you create realistic resolutions that will lead to lasting change. (If you missed last week’s newsletter, read it here)

If you’ve struggled to stick with new year’s resolutions in the past, then the first thing you need to do is shift your perspectives on how to approach change.

Shifting your thinking will influence how to change your habits… for good.  If you first focus on changing your mindset, then your actions will naturally align with less energy and greater success. It’s this shift that allows you to discover the deeper meaning, address the root cause, and truly allow yourself to change.

1. Change Takes Time.
We live in a time when we are conditioned to expect instant gratification. Real sustainable change will not happen overnight, nor should it. There is value to this process. Give yourself permission to cultivate patience when it comes to change. Struggling to find patience with change?

Read This Post

2. Healing is not sexy.  
Looking good on the outside, despite how you feel on the inside, will not give you long-term results. Hiding toxic behavior behind materialistic wealth isn’t a sustainable healing practice. Superficial wellness is not the answer to your struggles.  It’s hard work to discover real, sustainable change and it’s not going to be sexy, but the value of feeling confident in your true self and honoring your needs IS the new sexy.  And because it’s not superficial, it will not dull or fade and more importantly, no one can take it away from you. Struggling with finding your inner sexy?

 Read This Post

3. You can be balanced and imbalanced at the same time.
We like to think in extremes (right or wrong, black or white) but in reality, the answers to life are not one or the other -  it's usually something in between or a combination of truths. This can be really confusing when we’re aiming to do things “right." Take a moment to recognize that you are an amazing person, but there are aspects of your life that you’re still working on. Struggling with feeling overwhelmed on where to start?

 Read This Post

4. Don’t be a shit talker.
The way we talk to ourselves matters greatly and our inner monologue can be brutal sometimes. The truth is that our chances of reaching our goals without believing in our abilities, cheering ourselves on, or giving ourselves the permission to “fail” and trying again, will ultimately sabotage any chance of success. We need to learn to be our own biggest cheerleader. Struggling with shit talking yourself?

Read This Post

5. Your answer lies within.

If we don't know what we want or why we want it, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to achieve it. We need to really get to know ourselves. We need to learn to like ourselves and believe we are worthy of change. The best way to connect with yourself is by being in an environment you feel comfortable in, supported by others who connect with your journey, in a space that is quiet and calming.

ming+ming classes are designed to support you exactly here you are. Join our yoga and meditation classes to start connecting with your true self.

ming+ming classes

6. Show up for yourself.
Our first actionable step towards change was to show up for ourselves consistently. Creating the habit of doing something for ourselves is the first pattern we had to build. We had convinced ourselves that we should be serving others before considering our own needs. This mindset made us feel lost, unhappy, and confused because we thought we were doing everything “right.”  The reason we only sell membership packages is because it’s designed to make it easy to show up for yourself consistently. If there is only one commitment you make this year, we can guarantee you'll see real changes in your life by just consistently showing up for yourself.

 ming+ming packages

Hi, I'm Ming-Cee and I wanted change without changing

“Go on a hike,” they say. “Make Sundays your meal prep day,” “When people hurt you, they’re just hurting themselves.”

All great advice for someone depressed, hurt, and scared for their future. I just didn’t know how any of these suggestions pertained to me.

I barely had the energy to get out of bed and do the dishes, let alone go on a hike. How are you supposed to create healthier habits that give you more energy when you have no energy to begin with? This was me.

There was even a point in my life where I would think about what I would wish for if I came across a genie in a lamp and he granted me three wishes. Yes, desperation makes you look for answers in all places. I desperately wanted things to change immediately with a flick of a wrist.

But as you would suspect, I was waiting for a long time and I never did find that magical lamp. I look back now and can still feel the desperation. I wanted change in my life but I didn’t want to have to change my life. I didn’t want to have to put in the work, I didn’t want to make Sundays my meal prep day (I still don’t), I didn’t want to be that person on a strict diet, I didn’t want to be the person who had to make hard decisions and say “no” to fun activities or schedule naps into my day.

Because that’s the harsh truth to changing your life–you actually have to change. Others don’t need to change, just you.

When I talk about my healing journey, that’s exactly what it is–a journey. To first check in with myself, figure out how I am feeling and what I need to support myself, then chisel away at how I can start applying different choices to my life. Inevitably, I’d fall off my wagon, feel disappointment in myself and start all over again. It’s exhausting. It’s uncomfortable. It’s annoying. And the progress can seem slow as Hell. But that’s when I find the most support from the land of the woo-woo.

It takes energy healing to get me to realize that part of my stuckness is that I don’t believe in my own worthiness. It takes tarot cards to give me hope and reassurance that different decisions will lead me to where I want to go. It takes crystals to give me courage to face my challenges and lessen my self doubts. It takes akashic records to give me perspective of my ancestral past, and by comparison, to allow me to enjoy all the blessings I currently have. It takes nature and grounding to realize how insignificant my struggles are in comparison to the universe that surrounds me. And it takes learning the skill of meditation to slow down, pause, and be present for the life I am living.

I’m at the point in my life where my new habits still mingle with the old. I still pop pills for a headache and sometimes to fall asleep, but I also take my vitamins in the morning. I fall back on the comfort of my vices when I have “hard days” then challenge myself to take breaks when I feel stronger. I skip yoga classes during the busy summer schedule but find myself prioritizing the recordings because I know showing up for myself always makes me feel better.

Discovering practices that are considered woo-woo has not given me immediate relief to my personal struggles or the answers to my problems. But what it has provided me with is a deeper connection with myself, a shift in my thinking that used to keep me in my old patterns and feeling stuck, and the courage to continue to do hard things. It’s these new woo-woo tools in my life that have given me the energy and strength to continue to do the hard work and bring about change in life by changing myself.

It’s all hard and will continue to be hard because ultimately there’s still a part of me that wishes life was just easy. Three-wishes easy. But as I continue to go on this journey, my wish is also changing. Perhaps it’s not an easy life I wish for but to live a life of ease. Because it’s only when I accomplish hard things that I develop a deeper love for myself and redefine my confidence from the inside out. I would receive neither from a life on easy street. So instead, the skills I develop from facing my personal challenges allows me to live my life authentically since I now know that I have what it takes.

Incorporating woo-woo into my life was a challenge in itself, mainly because trying something new with no proof of it working ran the high risk of dwindling the very limited energy I had in the first place. It was easier to spend my time wishing things were different.

But now, with new unexpected tools incorporated into my life, I don’t need three wishes. The magic isn’t in the woo-woo but the woo-woo gives me the confidence to continue believing in my own magic. This might not make sense to everyone and it hasn’t always made sense to me either but I know that I am shifting into the best version of me… and that is all I can wish for.

With love,

Ming-Cee

before you walk you have to crawl…

...and before you crawl you have to just lie there.

Sometimes it takes clearing things out of the way before our first steps can even be a possibility. And the thought of having to do work before the work even begins can be overwhelming, discouraging, and depressing.

The transition between awareness and behavioral change can seem daunting to say the least. Sometimes it's the exact thing that keeps us stuck and fearful to begin. In our minds, the clutter and noise can perpetuate our limiting beliefs and drive our habitual patterns leaving little to no room for change.

If you have ever felt stuck and frustrated at yourself for not staying on track when implementing change, perhaps you just need to slow down to explore the deeper understanding of your personal stuckness before taking your first actionable steps.

Tools like walking, meditation, yoga, journaling, and resting give us the pause to quiet the expectations and other noise filling our minds, if only for a few minutes. And it’s in this practice of pausing that we shift from feeling like life is happening TO us to feeling like life is happening FOR us.

The pause in our day is imperative to strengthening the belief in ourselves. It reconnects us to the values that define who we are. But it’s really hard to find that pause in the inertia of our push harder, do more, I’ll sleep when I’m dead culture.

That’s why at ming+ming we make it easier for us to find the time to reconnect with ourselves. We’ve designed our classes to be the scheduled pause in our day to find our breath, rest our eyes, and ease our nervous system allowing us to calm down and ask: What do we need to help ourselves and which step should we take next?

Starting a new routine or any action towards the change we desire takes dedication and motivation. Both are byproducts of first taking the time to slow down and pause.

The truth is that change usually only happens out of necessity. We must want to want to change. New, healthier routines only happen when we enjoy the benefits we obtain from it, naturally keeping us coming back, not because someone else told us it was good for us.

So in order to find the strength from within, we must believe the hard work that comes with change is worth it. We must believe that we are smarter than our problems. We must believe that we have the power to heal ourselves. We must believe that we can do hard things. And we must believe we have the ability to help ourselves.

If you don’t believe this yet about yourself, come join us in class where you can clear the way through deep breaths, lying quietly and reaffirming your beliefs and values. It’s in the tool of the pause that you will find the clarity and confidence in knowing your next step.

Because before you can step, you must learn to crawl and before you crawl, you just need to lie there.

With love,

Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

step three: your why

Change is hard. And sometimes, it’s incredibly fucking hard. There are times we want to give up, and sometimes we do. We call this falling off the wagon and it’s a critical part to our healing journey. Because it’s only when our discomforts become too loud to ignore that we are forced to think about why we want to change in the first place.

Usually when life gets uncomfortable, our reaction is to immediately try to “fix” how we feel. We binge watch, we scroll, we shop, we throw ourselves into our work, we distract ourselves from our feelings one way or another. This makes us feel better for a while, but it doesn’t last.

Our why is that honest, true answer that is deep within us and it’s what gets us back on track. It’s our north star when we get distracted. Our why gives us the courage and stamina to face the problem, conflict, or stuckness head-on because it’s the only way to achieve our goals without bringing along the emotional baggage. It’s uncomfortable, it’s frustrating, and no one wants to do it. This is why they call it “doing the work.”

The hardest of all the work comes in the beginning. When we are first challenging our habitual thought processes, our ingrained beliefs, and our life-long habits. Sometimes we find ourselves longing for things to be easier, but we know in our hearts that the real life-changing moments happen after a battle well fought.

There’s much to battle within ourselves - cultural expectations, feelings of unworthiness, guilt, the list never ends. The hard work is shifting our perspective so we can invest the time, money, and energy to work through our stuckness, insecurities, and weaknesses. Our strength comes from knowing that the hard work will be uncomfortable until we do it enough times that we feel comfortable with the uncomfortable.

As we continue to choose to do our own work, we become more skillful in sitting with the discomfort, not reacting, and not rushing to fix how we feel. We pause, prioritize our needs, implement our tools, and show up to class because we are essentially training ourselves to better understand our emotions, address our mental health, and to be intentional with our reactions so we may live with more ease and less regrets.

Understanding our why is our motivation for showing up for ourselves, especially when we’d rather just check out. We are all ebbing and flowing between our old familiar selves and who we are slowly working to become as we push forward and continue doing the hard work. When we lose focus and our comfy old habits suggest we stay awhile, we go back to why we took the terrifying leap of faith to change in the first place.

As we continue down this difficult path, we remember to honor ourselves when we need a break, give ourselves grace when we fall off the wagon, and even enjoy our indulgences once in a while because all of this can be so damn hard.

We encourage you to go on this courageous journey with us. Our platform provides tools, encouragement, and systematic solutions to the challenges we will inevitably encounter along the way. Yes this is hard and yes you have what it takes. We are here to support you and give you the space you need to reaffirm your why so you can keep moving forward with confidence.

With love,

Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee