Tools make life easier - we all know that. But when we have so many tools to choose from, it can be confusing and overwhelming to know which is the best tool for you!
We all have limited time, money and energy, so it can be the fear of choosing the wrong tool and wasting our time and money that keeps us stuck! We know because we’ve been there.
That’s why we want to make it easier on you! We try the tools and then suggest to you which tools have helped us (and continue to help) so you don’t have to waste your precious time, money and energy.
Our tools page isn’t a cheat sheet for a quick fix. No, our suggestions and our tools page makes it easier for you to create your own pathway towards self discovery. Because you’re no fool!
Here’s a few tools we love and suggest as a great place to get started!
Netflix: Stutz - this documentary redefined therapy for me
Podcast: The Mel Robbins Podcast–6 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Power and How to Get it Back: Life Changing Advice From the Remarkable Dr. Thema Bryant
Crystals: The Crystal Code and the Healing Sanctuary
Be sure to leave a comment after you use the tools so we can help others choose the tool that works best for them!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
our story
our story
As sisters, we spent our childhood growing up in the same house, in the same town, and with the same parents. Eventually we found ourselves on opposite coasts, both on autopilot living our “perfect” lives. We were focused on getting married, having children, climbing the corporate ladder, and buying homes in the suburbs. It looked like we were living the dream…on the outside.
our struggles
In hindsight, Ming-Wai was struggling with burnout and anxiety, and Ming-Cee was suffering from postpartum depression and chronic pain. But we thought we needed to push through it, ignoring the signs until things became so uncomfortable that we couldn’t contain it anymore. We were hesitant to share our struggles with anyone else because we felt that our problems weren’t “real” problems. So we suffered in silence while simultaneously feeling guilty that we weren’t enjoying our lives.
our steps
ming+ming was born from our personal struggles and the path we found through them. In the beginning we felt lost, discouraged, and hesitant to buy something that had no guarantee of even working. We’ve battled with depression, anxiety, denial, self-doubt, and a debilitating fear of the unknown, but now we know it’s all for a bigger purpose.
In the process, Ming-Wai became a certified yoga teacher, meditation coach, and energy worker using tarot, crystals, and reiki. Ming-Cee joined her sister as both a business partner and a life coach. It’s been a long, winding road and the struggles are still real but after years of inner work, and trying a multitude of tools for personal growth, we're bringing you the process that actually works: the 11 steps to change your life.
our inspiration
We created ming+ming to bring all of the resources, tools, and a supportive community into one place. Our personal growth platform provides clarity around your struggles, which pinpoints exactly where to start when you’re ready for real change in your life. And our growing community creates a safe space that reminds us all that we aren’t meant to do this alone.
The truth is that when you’re on a personal growth journey, it takes a lot of dedication, patience, and honesty to reach your goals. At ming+ming, we make the process clear, providing you with the steps and support to find that deeper understanding within so you can enjoy the life you work so hard to create.
I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really…
“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really... get busy living or get busy dying."
- Andy Dufresne (played by Tim Robbins) in The Shawshank Redemption
As living creatures, we are all works in progress because that is our human design, like on a Darwin kind of level. Meaning we’re all faced with the evolutionary tale of adapt or die. Thankfully, so far, our species has opted for survival.
When we say that the healing journey is a lifelong journey (not an accomplishment to be checked off or a singular milestone to be celebrated), we acknowledge that some will be discouraged from even starting. But what we want to present is a shift in perspective: from a never ending daunting haul to the privilege of choice. This is only granted to those who are 1) alive and 2) willing to do hard things because deep down, they know they deserve it.
The reason this is a long-term commitment is because we believe the path toward self healing and growth is all about self discovery. And since we’ve chosen to evolve and adapt instead of going extinct, change is the survival strategy. Therefore, there will always be more to discover about ourselves.
So, if you are one to correlate the need for change with being flawed, then you will stay imprisoned and stuck in your own life. However, if you are able to shift your mindset and see change as the human progression of evolution, then we are here to help set you free. Because even if you accept constant change as a fact of life, it doesn’t make it any easier. That’s where ming+ming comes in.
With clear-cut steps that build off one another, curated classes to strength the skills you’ll need to face difficult challenges and persevere, surrounding yourself with a community of individuals committed to the same growth, AND access to reliable tool recommendations based on your unique needs, you will be able to manage these changes with more ease, confidence and enjoyment!
So take it from Andy Dufresne: “Get busy living or get busy dying.” We've chosen living and we think you should too.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
HAPPY NEW YOU! 🥳
Let’s be honest, who has the time to work on themselves while our sanity is hanging on by a thread during the holidays?
Not us. This is a time when we give ourselves grace for falling back into old patterns instead of shaming ourselves for falling off the wagon… again.
We realize it’s not about the all or none, it’s about the overall blend in life. And what works for us may not work for you. What we believe is that we’re all just trying our best, but sometimes our best can be compromised by additional stress. And that’s okay because that is life.
What we hope for you (and for ourselves), is that now the holiday stress is behind us and we can continue to go down the path of personal growth. January is a great time to reflect back (without judgment) to realize that though we might have fallen back on some comfortable habits, we know now that those habits don’t serve us in the long run.
They are distractions that feel good in the moment, but don’t have real, lasting benefits and it’s what keeps us stuck in a pattern that no longer serves us. So for us, January is a great time to start fresh, recalibrate and start moving forward.
If you are with us and inspired to make healthier, intentional choices, then let’s do it together!
We are excited to announce that we will be offering FREE monthly coaching sessions every 3rd Tuesday of the month. Join us 8pm ET | 5pm PT January 16th, for our FIRST live coaching session. All you have to do is bring yourself and we can get started!
We can’t wait to see you there. But until then, relax and enjoy the end of the holiday season.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
So thankful for YOU!
We're grateful for you.
You might not know this, but this ming+ming community if not only for you. It's for us too.
When we first started on this healing journey about 5 years ago, we were frustrated and didn't know where to start. We were stressed all the time and hiding our struggles from our friends, our families, and from each other. We felt ashamed that we couldn't figure out how to fix ourselves. And we definitely didn't WANT to change because we had worked so hard to build our beautiful lives.
But we had to change. The trajectory of our lives was not sustainable, but the wellness industry was overwhelming and we didn't know who to trust.
So we trusted in each other. We shared our fears, our traumas, our shame, our inspirations, and our dreams of a life of freedom from the stresses we were living everyday. We supported each other to try new tools. We shared articles, podcasts, and books that helped give us deeper understanding into our stuckness.
And then we realized that we weren't meant to do this alone.
Nobody WANTS to change. Nobody WANTS to feel uncomfortable. But when you're ready for change, you need a community to support you. Every week, we are humbled and inspired by the support and insight shared in our ming+ming classes.
And every week, we log-in as students. Not because it's our company, but because we need it too.
We are still works-in-progress, but we can truly say that we're enjoying the lives we work so hard to create. That's something we couldn't imagine 5 short years ago.
If you can relate to our story and dream of freedom from the stresses of your daily life, start here. Let's chat about how we can help you move forward with confidence.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
WARNING! Do NOT take this QUIZ if you’re not ready to make changes
WARNING: Please do not proceed if you are not ready to let go of:
self-deprecation
powerless dialogue
“better than” syndrome
negative judgements
harsh critiques
satisfaction with the status quo
single check-off box mentality
avoidance of personal responsibility
The following content and subsequent actions applied will lead to uncomfortable feelings for yourself and others. Change is uncomfortable and yet, we all have to go through it.
This quiz and the FREE PDF download on Value-Based Decision Making (VBDM) will create changes in your life. Changes that allow you to live more authentically with who you are.
Using VBDM can lead to shifts in your opinion, changes to your routine, and challenge your limiting beliefs. This is the tool that will bring you back home to who you truly are, but only if you are ready to use it. Harsh truths will follow and adjustments to your relationships will have to be made.
However, we guarantee you will enjoy your life more when you start to make decisions in alignment with your values.
ARE YOU READY FOR REAL CHANGE? If so, this quiz is for you!
Then REPLY IN THE COMMENTS and let us know if you’re a Perfectionist, People-Pleaser, Protector, or Problem Solver. We’re dying to know what you get!!!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
We don’t teach yoga or meditation
What we teach is how to pause.
Because it’s only in stillness that awareness lives. And change can only follow awareness.
We all know how hard it is to slow down, especially in these times when productivity reigns supreme. The pause is the tool that helps you develop your skills.
ming+ming classes are specifically designed to strengthen the life skills we are lacking to process, understand, let go, and live authentically and intentionally.
Our classes are the forced pause we all need to reflect, validate, and be our own solutions.
Superficial wellness is always ready to give you a great tip, an inspiring quote, and enticing before-and-after photos, but Real Wellness gives you the how to.
Real Wellness is the good, the bad and the ugly – It’s ALLLL the truths.
We are not teaching yoga or meditation. What we are teaching is:
How to unwind, and slow down
How to feel uncomfortable and sit with it
How to check in with ourselves
How to give ourselves the permission to adjust
How to show up for ourselves
How to contract one part of ourselves as we relax another
How to rest and just be
How to prioritize our needs
How to come up with creative solutions
How to accept multiple truths
How to accept where we are
How to commit to ourselves
How to face our shadow selves
How to like ALL of ourselves
How to redefine our own worth
How to do something different
How to say “thanks, but not right now” to your brain
How to be present
How to be grateful
How to be intentional
How to be authentic
How to forgive and let go
How to make space
What ming+ming classes do is help you find yourself so you can learn how to trust in your abilities, and live your life with more confidence and ease. Our teachers are trained to guide you through, one step at a time.
And if one of us isn’t teaching the class, we’re taking the class.
“Sometimes I just log into class and lie down the entire time. I don’t want to distract others with what I’m doing so I turn off my camera and find comfort in my own room. It’s been a great way for me to strengthen my Life Flex of showing up for myself, but especially in a way that’s specific to my needs. I would never have done this in an in-person class. I’d be way too embarrassed to look like a freak. So doing this through Zoom, in the comfort of my own home, allows me to really tap in and ask myself what I truly need at this moment. And sometimes it’s just to lay down, guilt-free, and breathe.”
– Ming-Cee Ryan (co-owner ming+ming)
ENGAGE with ming+ming meditation
One of the most powerful discoveries we’ve made on our healing journeys is that we are not supposed to do this alone.
For years we both suffered in silence. We thought our problems weren’t real problems, so who would want to hear us complain about our privileged life? We felt lost and ashamed that we weren’t enjoying the lives we were working so hard to create. We didn’t let anyone know (not even each other!) since we thought something must be wrong with us.
Now that we can reflect on these parts of our journey, we recognize that we were wrong to think we couldn’t share our honest and true emotions. We now realize how disconnected we were with ourselves when we couldn’t even validate our own feelings.
When we first started to share our personal healing journeys on ming+ming, we didn’t understand the full potency of this tool until we started to build our community. Now we know that the power of sharing our story helps to heal ourselves AND to help others on their healing journeys.
ming+ming ENGAGE step 9 is Your Story + Our Community.
When we find the courage to share our true emotions, the shame fades as others nod their heads and show solidarity. The fear of the unknown dissipates as we connect over similar experiences. And the limiting belief that something is wrong with us begins to break down when we connect over our struggles.
Telling our story is a powerful tool that jump-started our healing journeys. It allowed us to validate our emotions and forgive past mistakes, and helped us to realize we have the power to change our story if we have the courage to do things differently.
Are you ready to share your story?
Are you ready to do things differently?
Are you ready to truly be seen and heard in a safe space with like-minded people?
Join us.
ming+ming meditation
Wednesdays + Thursdays
8pm Eastern | 5pm Pacific
2 weeks for only $40
We’ll see you there!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
ming+ming CHANGE steps
ming+ming CHANGE steps:
7. effort + goals
8. reflection
9. your story + our community
When we finally get to the place where we know we need change, we don’t like to wait for it and we want it to happen now. We’ve been conditioned to expect instant gratification but this only sets us up for disappointment when change doesn’t come soon enough.
And because we have been through our own personal growth journeys, we understand that change only occurs when the discomfort becomes bad enough that change is our only option left. And when things are that uncomfortable, we want change to happen immediately.
But if you’ve been following along, you know by now that real, sustainable change only occurs after we have put in the work to understand why we want to change, and what we want to change into. When deeper meaning supports our desire to change, then the slow progression, the upkeep, and the continual investment shifts from “having to” to “wanting to.”
And that is the secret to making this journey less uncomfortable, less overwhelming, and increases the longevity of our success.
The ming+ming CHANGE steps are the steps that will allow you to face the challenges that come with doing things differently for the first time.
These steps remind you of your new found perspective and helps you start rewriting what was once your limiting beliefs.
These steps give you the opportunity to see where else you have been holding yourself back.
It’s in these steps that you fully realize the power you hold within to heal, grow and create a life you truly enjoy.
It is in these CHANGE steps that you will experience the results of showing up for yourself consistently. It’s where you begin to experience the benefits to all the hard work you’ve put in so far. It is here that you will realize what you once thought impossible for yourself was only a lack of understanding of what was holding you back. You will discover what you are truly capable of and the value that you alone bring to this world.
As you continue to experience these new shifts (big and small) and the more time you have to reflect on how far you have come, you begin to embrace a whole new meaning to life. What you once thought you “had to do” will transition into what you “want to do” and that will allow you to make the real, sustainable changes to start enjoying the life you work so hard to create.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
our tool for the CHANGE steps are the ming+ming 11 steps.
Let us explain…
When we first admitted to ourselves that we were not enjoying the lives we’d been working so hard to create, we felt guilty, ashamed and confused as to why.
As we’ve started our own healing journeys, we now realize that we’ve unknowingly created habits that have disconnected ourselves from who we are and our needs.
From a young age, we developed people-pleasing skills to keep the peace.
We were conditioned to prioritize how others viewed us before we had a chance to check in with ourselves.
We were told in subtle, yet consistent ways that we weren’t good enough and we had to keep performing to prove our worth.
We took on roles and identities that made us look great on the outside, but empty and discontent on the inside.
We finally realized the root cause of our unhappiness was because we didn't really know ourselves so we couldn’t fulfill our own needs.
We knew real, sustainable change had to start with ourselves, but where and how? We had spent our entire lives training to do everything “right,” so how could we be so lost?
The ming+ming 11 steps came to us organically as we turned our attention inside and began to peel away our facade so we could understand our emotions. Learning to respond to them instead of just reacting to them.
It’s through the 11 steps that we learned that NOTHING was wrong with us, we had just found our work. We were discovering the work it takes to heal, discover ourselves, and to live authentically.
The 11 steps allows us to find the deeper understanding of where we are on our journeys, and to stay focused on what small changes will give us the biggest impact and the most relief from our struggles.
It allows us to change at our own pace in our own way.
It keeps the noise of comparison down.
The ming+ming 11 steps teaches us HOW to change and we know they work because we use them over and over again. Real, sustainable, lasting change is a process, not a destination.
Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.
ming+ming ACTION steps
Step 4. your way
Step 5. let it flow + let shit go
Step 6. breaking down the woo-woo
Step 7. effort + goals
Taking action doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or something visible for all to see. For us at ming+ming, it’s quite the opposite. Our action steps are designed to encourage small shifts, mainly in our thought process and our mindsets.
These steps are personal, they are steps that are done by you, for you, and no one else.
“To change... you must ignore how you feel and just do it anyway. I may not be perfect, but I am worthy. It's not the big moves that change everything—it's the smallest ones in your everyday life that do.”
- Mel Robbins -
Our ACTION steps continue your journey towards deeper self-discovery. They are also the steps that allow you to start to create subtle shifts and small adjustments that fit into your personal lifestyle and unique living situation.
These steps are also designed to create space mentally, emotionally and physically. And with more space, you find more time to prioritize what brings meaning to your life instead of rushing around performing to others' expectations.
With this deeper understanding, you’ll be able to build healthier habits and clear out what isn’t serving you anymore. You’ll learn the skills to truly let go of limiting beliefs so you can imagine a life with different possibilities.
In the ming+ming ACTION steps, you will discover creative ways to address the discomfort that has been keeping you stuck. Working through these steps will help you continue to heal and grow from past experiences you didn’t know were impacting your current quality of life.
These small changes may not seem significant, but they are the building blocks for bigger and more tangible change to come.
Have you ever tried to make healthy changes in your life only to find yourself discouraged that you can’t seem to focus and stay on track?
Then your work probably lies in the ACTION steps. It is here that you will strengthen your devotion to making different decisions, despite the discomfort. These steps are personalized to meet you where you are right now, to fit into your current situation and unique lifestyle so you can experience longevity in your efforts and successes.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.
CONFESSION: My pre-trip freak out 😵💫
A few weeks ago, I was gearing up for a wonderful trip to London and Paris with my family. I had been looking forward to it because London is my happy place and it had been over a decade since my husband and I had visited on our honeymoon.
In the middle of wrapping up projects at work, packing up, and getting a last minute haircut, I started feeling guilty and questioning if it was a mistake to spend all this money on a trip. I felt worried that the kids wouldn’t feel like walking all day or trying new food and it would be a waste of time and money. I was scared that I would forget something important. I was starting to spiral with anxiety and worried I was making the “wrong” decision.
And this is where my ming+ming foundational steps came in handy.
Step 1 - Negative Reel. To be honest, I don’t always notice my negative self-talk. What I do notice is how I FEEL. So when I noticed I was feeling guilty and questioning my decisions, it led me to recognize how I was talking to myself - with judgment, with hypothetical scenarios, with fear.
Step 2 - Ego vs. Identity. Fortunately, I used our go-to tool of value-based decision making (VDBM) before I bought my tickets to Europe. So I went back to my list of values to reassure myself that I made this INVESTMENT in alignment with my identity. My values are FAMILY, which includes traveling with them; FREEDOM to see and experience the world and different cultures; and CONNECTION with people and places.
Step 3: Your Why. My why is to bring more compassion and empathy into the world. You may be wondering how taking a European vacation supports that. Well, I believe that empathy and compassion for others starts with connection so it helps to expose ourselves to different people, different cultures, and to feel small in this beautiful world. It’s humbling and empowering at the same time and that helps me live my why.
Having my ming+ming steps helped me to feel back in control. I could focus on what I had to get done instead of wasting my time worrying about if I had made the right decision or what others were going to think about it.
This in turn allowed me to sleep better so I didn’t get sick before my trip and to be more efficient in getting all the last minute things done before we left for the airport.
With love,
Ming-Wai
Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.
FACE: Foundation, Action, Change, Engage
What step are you on?
Find out with Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
Live Q+A: May 16th 8pm ET | 5pm PT
sign up now
There’s a few things you should know about ming+ming…
Our goal is to change the tone of healing because we believe that “there is nothing wrong with you, [you’ve just] discovered your work.” –Rabbi Mordecai Finnley
The work you’ve discovered will lead you through an uncomfortable, complex, and difficult journey inward. And though you may be well aware of the journey you must take, feeling overwhelmed, confused, and the fear of the unknown is what keeps you stuck. These emotional states leave you stagnant – deeply wanting change in your life but lost on where to start.
We know exactly how that feels because we’ve been there too, and frankly, we’re still working through it. That’s why we’ve created steps to help us navigate this difficult journey.
These are the steps that help us find our footing when we’re spiraling out of control.
These are the steps we come back to when we inevitably fall off the wagon.
These are the steps that help us monitor our progress when things don't seem to be changing fast enough.
These are also the steps that keep us focused on our progress when the noise of comparison makes us feel unworthy or not good enough.
We’d like to introduce you to FACE: The steps you need to FACE your challenges.
Foundation: steps 1-4
Action: steps 4-7
Change: steps 7-9
Engage: steps 9-11
How it works:
These steps, and the tools associated with them, allow you to understand your personal struggles that keep you stuck and unmotivated.
This deeper understanding then gives you the ability to release any guilt or shame, forgive and move on.
This shift opens up the opportunity for you to make different decisions – ones that are aligned with your values, instead of other people’s expectations.
When you start making decisions based on your values, it connects you deeper to who you are and it helps eliminate the second guessing or the many hours of “should-ofs and could-ofs” eventually giving you back more time, energy, and even money to continue moving forward on your personal growth journey.
As one of our ming+ming members described it:
“The steps teach you how to hear yourself again, and the tools allow you to trust what you hear”
–N. Wolcott
If you are interested in learning more about these steps and how they can be applied to your unique and personal struggles, then join us, May 16, 2023 at 8PM ET/ 5PM PT to connect with us LIVE. This FREE q+a session will allow you to talk to us directly as we guide you through our steps and show you how to apply them to your life. All you have to do is sign up and show up…it’s a great first step!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
What are the ming+ming 11 steps? Read more here
Have you done everything “right” but feel lost and confused because you don’t feel like you are enjoying your life? Our steps can help! Read more here
Do you connect with this quote:
“There is nothing wrong with you. You discovered you work”
Listen to the full podcast here
Copyright © 2023 ming + ming, All rights reserved.
how to ACTUALLY start prioritizing yourself
We all know the importance of self care, then why is it so hard to do? Is it because...
we’re too busy?
there’s too many people who depend on us?
we know it’s going to be hard work and we’re already burnt out?
-or-
the class times don’t work for me.
I don’t know how to meditate.
that’s when the kids get home.
Yes, these may be excuses, but they’re legitimate excuses! We live busy, successful lives and share it with others that we love. But we’re here to say, these can all be true and you can still make time to prioritize yourself.
We know what it feels like to be aware that you need change in your life but also feel so overwhelmed that you end up NOT changing anything at all. We all live busy lives, so who has time to start a personal growth journey when we already know it’s going to be one hard decision after another?
We’ve been there (and are still there sometimes). That’s why this month we’re sharing our tools on how to ACTUALLY prioritize ourselves in the Monthly - Read it here…
If you are looking for your first shift towards healthier living, start by making a commitment to show up for yourself on a consistent basis. You can start small with taking a 10 minute walk at lunch, taking 5 breaths in the shower, or taking one of our weekly classes. And if you don’t have the time for that, then invest an hour with us on Tuesday, April 18th at 8pm eastern | 5pm pacific. Sign up here for free.
Once you prove to yourself that you’re worth showing up for, you’ll continue to want to show up for yourself again and again. Let the journey BEGIN!
how to heal yourself when sharing your life with others
How do we prioritize taking care of ourselves when we live such busy lives?
How can we choose self care when so many others depend on us?
What should we do when we don’t have any more time, money, or energy left for ourselves?
These were the questions we asked ourselves not too long ago. It was never a good time to change our routine because we’re too busy and too many people depended on us.
In hindsight, these were excuses we had created before we even got started. We were afraid to start because we knew that changing would affect the ones around us. But what we didn’t realize was by not prioritizing our self care, we were already affecting the ones around us... and not in a positive way.
When we finally invested in ourselves, the quality of our relationships improved in ways we couldn't have imagined. Stronger boundaries created stronger connections with the ones we loved most.
All month, we will be discussing what it’s like to go on a healing journey while you share your life with others. Below we share the tools we’ve used (and continue to use) to help us grow the relationships that are the most important to us, including our own.
How to start with yourself: Therapy
It was ingrained in me from a young age that going to therapy was a sign of weakness. That sharing your vulnerabilities only opens you up to be taken advantage of and placed at the mercy of someone else’s harsh judgment. But I was told wrong. Keep reading...
Why therapy helps: Stutz A Film by Jonas Hill
This documentary was incredible for me in many ways. I think it's a beautiful representation, on multiple levels, of what it’s like to be on a healing journey. It’s complicated, it’s multifaceted, and we are ALL just trying to figure it out (even the therapist who created the tools).
Keep reading...
Therapist who inspires us: Kaitlin Soule
Follow her on Instagram @kaitlin.soule
https://www.wellnotesforher.com/
You cannot make others change: Mel Robbins
The Mel Robbins Podcast: 3 Things You Need to Accept About Other People
Listen here...
If you are struggling with your marriage: Michelle Purta
Follow her on Instagram @michellepurtacoaching
https://www.michellepurta.com/
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship: Dr. Ramini
Podcast OnPurpose with Jay Shetty:
The 3 SIGNS You’re dealing with a Narcissist + How to Set Boundaries
Listen here...
If you’re a mom and struggling to find yourself after kids: Momma has goals
Follow on Instagramt: @mommahasgoals
If you are struggling to communicate with your kids: Dr. Becky
Follow her on Instagram: @drbeckyatgoodinside
If your kids are struggling with mental health: Ken Burns documentary - Hiding in Plain Sight
Streaming on PBS and Amazon
If you suffer from chronic low energy: Spoon Theory
Since we didn’t make this shit up, a lot of the tools we're sharing with you come from recommendations from our ming+ming community. Thanks Erin for sharing!
What is Spoon Theory? Washington Post article
Feeling overwhelmed and looking for your work-life balance?
A lot of us are looking to find that sweet spot in life, where we've found the balance between our work lives and our home lives. But how do we know when we've gotten there? Is it a feeling? Is it happiness? Maybe a sense of ease?
Many of us have a hard time defining exactly what we're searching for when it comes to the perfect work-life balance. Generally, it’s a feeling that something's off and we know we can't continue on the same path for much longer.
The definition for work-life balance is personal and it can be affected by multiple factors like personalities, responsibilities, timing, and situation. That's why it's important to know which step you're on when discovering your unique work-life balance.
With our 11 step process to transform your life, you'll find a deeper understanding of your stuckness and how it keeps you from getting what you want. You will then discover how to create your own path towards the work-life balance that makes the most sense for you.
If you're sick of...
feeling torn or guilty about how you spend your time between work and your personal life
thinking you're not doing enough compared to others
feeling overwhelmed, or constantly on the edge of burnout, and feeling like you don’t have much to show for it
constantly believing that you’re not good enough
…then you need these steps!
If you would like more guidance on how to apply our 11 steps to discovering your work-life balance, join us for our FREE live q+a session on February 21st at 8pm ET | 5pm PT. During this time, Ming-Wai and Ming-Cee will walk you through understanding how to apply the 11 steps to your own life.
All you have to do is sign up and show up for yourself. We got you. You got you. See you there!
PS: if you missed our monthly lifestyle newsletter with easy tools on how to discover your work-life balance, check it out here.
How to Discover Your Work-Life Balance
Welcome to the monthly ming+ming lifestyle newsletter! Each month, we'll be covering topics we’ve struggled with along our personal growth journeys and how we’ve been able to find deeper understanding of our challenges, shift our perspectives, and the tools and tips that help us along the way. We’ll share ways to surround yourself with inspiration as you continue doing the hard work, how to grow your self love, and how to be creative with your solutions so it fits your personal lifestyle.
At ming+ming, we want to change the tone of healing. We want others to know that though the journey is incredibly tough, it’s completely achievable. It might not always look pretty getting there, but the transformation is always worth it. We’ll break down the growing pains that accompany you along the way and we’ll guide you step by step on how to discover your own solutions. Because we believe that everyone deserves to enjoy the life they work so hard to create.
This month's topic:
How to Discover Your Work-Life Balance.
Discovering your work life balance has everything to do with you.
What’s your definition of work life balance?
Do you believe it exists? If not, why? If so, why?
How do you get there?
What’s keeping you stuck?
If we don’t know what we want, then we won’t know which direction we should step in. When we talk about a growth journey, this is what we are referring to. Just to get us pointed in a certain direction takes time, money, and energy. However, these are critical steps where we set the foundation for our future success.
Find out what step you're on by taking our 5-minute quiz.
Focus on the work-life balance aspect of your life when answering the questions. Then use the tools below to take the next step in your personal growth journey.
One last thing.
Our wonderful Yoga for Inner Core teacher Justyna shared her inspiration for class this month from this article from Ekhart Yoga: Less stress – moving beyond work life balance.
With our weekly newsletters, we'll help you navigate your healing journey so it’s less confusing, less overwhelming, and more accessible.
6 things to know before quitting your 2023 resolution
We’ve compiled our top 6 tips to shift your mindset so you can make your 2023 resolution stick.
It’s the beginning of a new year and if you're like most of us, you’ve set intentions to live a healthier lifestyle by analyzing what you’d like to change in your life. Then, per usual, life gets in the way, old patterns persist, and we find reasons to quit before we’ve really even begun.
Like we said last week, our goal is to change the tone of healing so we thought we would share some tips to help you create realistic resolutions that will lead to lasting change. (If you missed last week’s newsletter, read it here)
If you’ve struggled to stick with new year’s resolutions in the past, then the first thing you need to do is shift your perspectives on how to approach change.
Shifting your thinking will influence how to change your habits… for good. If you first focus on changing your mindset, then your actions will naturally align with less energy and greater success. It’s this shift that allows you to discover the deeper meaning, address the root cause, and truly allow yourself to change.
1. Change Takes Time.
We live in a time when we are conditioned to expect instant gratification. Real sustainable change will not happen overnight, nor should it. There is value to this process. Give yourself permission to cultivate patience when it comes to change. Struggling to find patience with change?
2. Healing is not sexy.
Looking good on the outside, despite how you feel on the inside, will not give you long-term results. Hiding toxic behavior behind materialistic wealth isn’t a sustainable healing practice. Superficial wellness is not the answer to your struggles. It’s hard work to discover real, sustainable change and it’s not going to be sexy, but the value of feeling confident in your true self and honoring your needs IS the new sexy. And because it’s not superficial, it will not dull or fade and more importantly, no one can take it away from you. Struggling with finding your inner sexy?
3. You can be balanced and imbalanced at the same time.
We like to think in extremes (right or wrong, black or white) but in reality, the answers to life are not one or the other - it's usually something in between or a combination of truths. This can be really confusing when we’re aiming to do things “right." Take a moment to recognize that you are an amazing person, but there are aspects of your life that you’re still working on. Struggling with feeling overwhelmed on where to start?
4. Don’t be a shit talker.
The way we talk to ourselves matters greatly and our inner monologue can be brutal sometimes. The truth is that our chances of reaching our goals without believing in our abilities, cheering ourselves on, or giving ourselves the permission to “fail” and trying again, will ultimately sabotage any chance of success. We need to learn to be our own biggest cheerleader. Struggling with shit talking yourself?
5. Your answer lies within.
If we don't know what we want or why we want it, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to achieve it. We need to really get to know ourselves. We need to learn to like ourselves and believe we are worthy of change. The best way to connect with yourself is by being in an environment you feel comfortable in, supported by others who connect with your journey, in a space that is quiet and calming.
ming+ming classes are designed to support you exactly here you are. Join our yoga and meditation classes to start connecting with your true self.
6. Show up for yourself.
Our first actionable step towards change was to show up for ourselves consistently. Creating the habit of doing something for ourselves is the first pattern we had to build. We had convinced ourselves that we should be serving others before considering our own needs. This mindset made us feel lost, unhappy, and confused because we thought we were doing everything “right.” The reason we only sell membership packages is because it’s designed to make it easy to show up for yourself consistently. If there is only one commitment you make this year, we can guarantee you'll see real changes in your life by just consistently showing up for yourself.
tools for discover + repeat
When we were feeling the most confused and out of control in our lives, it was because we were lost on how to help ourselves. We knew we were desperately seeking change but we were too afraid of the “what ifs'' to try something different. So instead, we just kept waiting for things to change on their own. As you’d suspect, we were waiting for a while until we were forced to start making changes out of desperation.
When we look back at our healing journeys thus far, we know the struggles it took us just to get started. Though painful and uncomfortable, in retrospect, we can see how far we’ve grown and now we value the knowledge we’ve gained. What we have discovered through our own journeys is when life gets overwhelming and you’re searching for answers, the first step is to go inside.
We continue to discover that as we find more ways to heal, grow and support our journeys, it allows us to get more in touch with who we are. We now know that it’s impossible to like ourselves if we don’t know ourselves. We can’t be ourselves if we don’t like ourselves. And we definitely can't tell someone else what we need if we don’t know what we need ourselves.
The more we discover who we are and get deeper in touch with our needs, the more we heal. The simple act of showing up to ming+ming weekly classes is a great place to start and has done wonders for us. It’s the perfect space to discover more of ourselves.
The discovery of self and the deeper meaning of our struggles, allow us to heal and make decisions based on what we really need. These are the tools that have helped us discover ourselves a little deeper so we could start to make our own changes.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
want to try our classes for free?
Recordings of our free classes in December are available over the holidays!
Register with your email
Create a password
Find your pause with our yoga and meditation classes
Ming-Wai's Tools
weekly guidance with my oracle cards
I like to pull a card to give me guidance and insight into what will support me in the week ahead. Sometimes it's obvious why I get a card and sometimes it can be really confusing at first. Taking a few minutes to journal about the card and how it can guide me is the pause I need to reflect on my current situation from a new perspective and helps me move forward with more confidence.
the mists of avalon helped me on my personal growth journey
What hooked me was following the classic knight in shining armor story from the female characters' perspective. I could really related to the main character, Morgaine, and her fears and uncertainty of moving forward through the twists and turns of life.
Ming-Cee's Tools
this podcast helped my relationships
This podcast really gave me a deeper understanding as to why I live my life this way and why I have trouble setting healthy boundaries for myself. This podcast also walked me through how to identify a Narcissist and how I can determine if I'm dealing with one in my life. It gave me a great shift in my perspective and how to approach relationships in the future.
this documentary redefined therapy for me
You all know by now we love our tools, and this documentary is filled with them. In the documentary Jonah Hill and his therapist Paul Stutz discuss in detail the tools Stutz has created to help us process life. He creates visualizations on notecards to give further the understanding of the tools, how you use it and why it helps. He even guarantees that if you do what he tells you to, you will feel better.
Holiday Break Reminder
No classes + No newsletter
December 19 - January 6
Happy holidays from our family to yours!
tools for maintain + preserve
We are quick to bend backwards for others.
We over-commit as a way to prove our loyalty.
We push through long hours and ignore signals from our bodies to sustain our status.
However, if you’ve been following along with us, you know by now it’s not without a cost.
When we prioritize others' needs at the expense of our own, we lose touch with ourselves. And if this becomes a habit, then we lose our ability to know how to support our needs. We know,because we’ve been there.
Healing is the art of taking care of ourselves. Discovering the tools that work for our unique situations and using them in a way to create consistency is an artform. What to use and how to use it is really personal since we are the only ones who truly know what we need.
And when we put the energy, time and money into supporting our needs, we give ourselves the loving message that we are worth it. It’s in the process, the struggle and the perseverance, of discovering how to take care of ourselves that allows us to reconnect with who we are and to redefine our own value.
Below are some tools we’ve discovered that have helped us maintain + preserve our health so we can enjoy the life we work so hard to create.
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
this podcast redefined addiction for me
I'll be honest - I had never heard of Whitney Cummings before my husband forwarded me this podcast but I'm sure I'll see her everywhere now (isn't it weird how that happens?). So no matter if you like her work or not, this is worth a listen.
Almost two years ago, I wrote a blog explaining how my problems aren't "real" problems. It started like this:
“Sometimes I feel like an addict but instead of alcohol or substances, I’m addicted to exceeding expectations and external validation. However, there’s no 12-step program to take your life from people-pleasing super productive to true-self pleasing f*ck what everyone thinks. And that’s where the problem lies because for years I’ve been thinking my problems aren’t real problems.”
But from this podcast, I discovered that there IS a 12-step program for people-pleasers! It's a support group for codependence that she's involved with. Who knew?
I need to warn you that this is a long podcast - it took me several days to finish it - but they cover a lot and really shifted my perspective on the definition of addiction and how it's not necessarily bad and how it could really be our super power. Another revelation was that you can be confident but have low self-esteem (and how confusing that is). And another great take-away for me was the reminder of the power of forgiveness.
This was a great reminder that we're always working on ourselves and moving forward in our own way, with our own tools, and with a bit of humor.
With love,
Ming-Wai
my mini-meditation habit
I have to be honest - I'm terrible at making time to meditate. I tried to set a reminder on my phone or put it on my calendar, but those tricks were short-lived. What works for me is mini-meditations that I couple with things that I have to do anyway.
For instance, doing deep breaths and letting my mind wander while taking my evening shower. I've also stopped listening to the radio in the car on my commute into work. Or when I walk the dogs, I leave my phone and earbuds at home so I'm more present in the moment. I count these as my mini-meditations and they are now a habit I don't want to break.
I used to be a chronic multi-tasker with everything I did, like folding laundry and watching TV, going on a walk at lunch while catching up on my podcasts, or reading a paper for work while on the treadmill. I felt so productive! What I didn't realize at the time was that all this "productivity" was like running on a hamster wheel. I was putting all this energy into getting stuff done but then never feeling like I was going anywhere, which eventually lead me to burnout.
Don't get me wrong, I do still multi-task but now I intentionally find a little time in my day to put my productivity on pause. And it is in these quiet moments when I am most present with my body and my mind that I get beautiful realizations and creative ideas.
With love,
Ming-Wai
I've been practicing yoga since I was a teenager - mostly at the gym off-and-on for many years - and I was just doing it for exercise, stretching, and a little meditation. I didn't know why it made my body feel good (and I didn't really care, to be honest) but I kept coming back to yoga because it was like pushing a reset button on life and I always felt better afterwards.
About five years ago, I started going regularly to a yoga studio in my town and the practice of showing up every week was the beginning of a healthy shift in my life. What I eventually learned while doing my yoga teacher training is that yoga is more than stretching, breathing, and trying to do a handstand. The principles of yoga can be applied to so many aspects of my life.
The book Living Your Yoga by Judith Lasater is a quick and easy read and showed me that I didn't have to go to a yoga retreat in order to deepen my relationship with my true self. When I am struggling to show up to my mat in order to maintain + preserve the benefits of my practice, this book gives me simple suggestions on and off the mat to bring me back to a mindset of balance. It touches on topics like faith, control, fear, and greed that makes me more conscious of how I'm reacting to my surroundings. And it reminds me that even when things are going well and I don't feel like I "need" to do my yoga practice, there is still a benefit to showing up for myself on and off the mat.
With love,
Ming-Wai
how I learned to love orthotics
Ever since I can remember, our physical therapist mother has put emphasis on taking care of our feet. Our feet are what supports the rest of our bodies day in and day out. Neck pain, back pain, headaches and other aches can all stem from not giving our feet the support they need.
Though it took persistent nagging from our mother, I now see the immense benefits of taking care of how my body feels when I’m on my feet. From the ego hit I took when deciding I couldn’t wear high heels anymore to the cost and annoyance of purchasing orthotics for every shoe I own, this part of my journey has been a real struggle (and sometimes continues to be).
The best quality orthotic I’ve invested into is Foot Karma. The orthotics have been designed and created by Pediatrist Eric Hubbard and his wife Millie Hubbard, RN, BSN and Public Health Nurse. These orthotics were created out of necessity, to provide their patients an orthotic that was comfortable and one they would actually wear. They even have orthotics that will fit into high heels for those of you who are not willing to give up those long legs quite yet. I appreciate that “Take care of your feet now so they can take care of you later” is written front and center on their packaging. Check them out: https://footkarma.com/
If you are looking for less expensive options you can try Dr. Scholl’s custom fit orthotics. There are kiosks that will determine which Dr. Scholl’s orthotics will best support your needs. Find a kiosk here.
And when in doubt, listen to your body. Going to see a Podiatrist for additional information and support what’s best for you.
With love, Ming-Cee
retraining my body with Rosen
My first in-person Rosen class was at the Napa Senior Center February 2020. Shortly after, the world shut down due to the pandemic. Classes transitioned online and that’s where I’ve been taking my Rosen class ever since.
I’ve lived most of my life pushing through my discomforts (read about it on my blog here). I’ve been forcing my body to perform and creating a lot of tension. But a lifetime of harsh demands finally caught up to me, leaving me exhausted with a chronically aching body. Rosen movement helps me to stop reinforcing old habits of misusing my body. Since I didn’t know any better, I needed to retrain myself from the foundation up. And even though my first class was held at the senior center, Rosen movement is for all ages.
Rosen Method Movement is a system of simple, gentle, range-of-motion movements that encourage students to move the way their bodies are designed. Rosen classes are also paired with music allowing the body to move with awareness to a certain rhythm. These classes are simple, practical and have given me hope for a more enjoyable future.
Along with Rosen Method Movement there is Rosen Method Bodywork. To discover more about Rosen Method check out the webpage at rosenmethod.com
And if you would like to join me via Zoom at 9:30am pacific on Mondays for Rosen Method Movement class, please reach out and I’ll send you information on how to sign up.
With love,
Ming-Cee
finding support with anti-fatigue mats
This tool is another recommendation from our physical therapist mother. She has been trying to shift our perspectives on giving our bodies the support they need now so we may experience longevity of the highest quality later. She has always said that we don’t have to wait for our bodies to scream at us in pain before we provide them with a tool to support our daily demands. It's finally sinking in, mom!
As a stay-at-home mom to young children and as someone who enjoys cooking as a way of showing her love, I’m in the kitchen a lot. From daily chores like doing the dishes to preparing weekly meals, I find myself standing on our hard tile floors often. And though I’ve used anti-fatigue mats before and know the benefits it provides my body, when I redid my kitchen I was stuck in a world of vanity over comfort. Luckily I found an anti-fatigue mat that supports my needs and looks great! The Standing Matt from House of Noa delivers the best of both worlds.
With love,
Ming-Cee
Hi, I’m Ming-Cee and I workout at the senior center
“...and a mug for tea,” the description read. It randomly caught my attention as I was looking up activities for my kids in our city’s Parks & Recreation catalog.
I read the class description outloud to my husband and he looked at me with concern. I knew he’d been watching me morph into a dull and frail version of myself. I told him that I thought it was a sign and enrolled myself for “Exploring the Deep Spine, Moving from Your Core.”
I was in the very early stages of my healing journey. I knew I couldn’t stay in bed for the majority of my day anymore. I needed to get moving and out of the house. I was stuck in the mindset that spending money on myself was a scarce privilege so the class description and the price point was too perfect to ignore.
To be honest, I thought it was going to be a slow moving barre class, one that would focus on my core muscles. I really didn’t expect the class to be any different than any other I’d taken at a community center… not even when I pulled into the parking lot of the Senior Center.
When I walked in and others began to gather, I was approached by a woman who smiled with her entire body and immediately made me feel warm. She introduces herself as the instructor, then proceeds to say “you might have noticed that you’re significantly younger than the others.”
It was hard not to notice.
She asked about myself and told me a bit about the class I was about to take. She then says “you are exactly where you are supposed to be and I am so happy you are here.”
Tears immediately began to well up in my eyes. Because when you're lost and scared, those are the best words you could hear from someone else. It turns out I would cry 3 more times by the end and I knew I had found my people.
Never had I been with a group of individuals who knew what it felt like to live in chronic pain, tired and worn down. I felt seen and understood immediately. It was quite the contrast from always pretending to look like a healthy 37 year old. I found a spark of hope when a woman, a full generation ahead of me, declared “I wish I had found this class when I was your age.” I could see the honesty in her eyes, and perhaps, even a bit of jealousy. It gave me the first positive shift in my mindset.
I CAN help myself and it WON’T be all for nothing. I accepted that I’d have to sacrifice to go down the long and demanding road up ahead, but I decided to give myself this gift. It was a gift to invest one hour a week with my people. And I had never thought about it that way before, until now.
At that time, I was constantly overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness. Always throwing energy towards damage control and never for preservation. I had no energy left to take care of myself. I spent my money to maintain my image instead of maintaining my health. And that’s how I found myself working out at the senior center at age 37.
This wonderful class is called Rosen. Rosen movement breaks down how to use our bodies correctly. Our demanding world doesn't allow us to slow down enough to realize we don’t always need to be pushing. From standing up straight to running a marathon, our bodies can perform without brash demands. We just need to be aware of our bodies, how they naturally work, and to be kind enough to give them what they need.
Though initially working out with retirees was a swift kick to the ego, it only took a few vulnerable words, some warm touches and empathetic eyes to not care how it looked anymore. I was where I needed to be, at the appropriate level – it was the right next step for me.
My newfound community may have weathered hands and worn souls, but they remind me that today’s investments will be worth more to me as the years go by. And though our current personal growth journey may seem uncomfortable, daunting and overwhelming, investing in our health now allows us to preserve the quality of years we have left.
“In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
–Abraham Lincoln
With love,
Ming-Cee
